Sending Faxes to God Inc. - by John L. Payne

Our dear friend Bob electrocutes himself whilst blow drying his hair in the bathroom one evening and suddenly finds himself in heaven. He is somewhat bewildered, his last memory catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror with frizzy hair as he fell with a thud to the ground. Anyway, his wonderful guide, Gloria, comes to his aid and settles him in to his new situation.

"So how do you think you did Bob?" asks Gloria.

"Well, very well I think. It's hard work down there. Work, trouble, toil, striving to create new situations, overcoming challenges, it's quite exhausting!" replied Bob with frustration in his voice.

"Oh?" replied Gloria "seems to me that you got everything you asked for."

"Everything I asked for! Have you gone completely mad? I hardly ever got what I wanted. As I said, a lot of toil and trouble, broken dreams, disappointments, just plain hard work."

Gloria placed her hand lovingly on Bob's knee and with a kind look gazed into his eyes and said "No Bob, really, you got everything you asked for. You see, the Universe is like God Inc and we have departments for everything. Order departments, dispatch, marketing, management, everything, and we're all working for you. Let me show you."

Gloria took Bob by the hand and took him into a very, very, very large building. Hundreds of people were milling around all over the place, carrying books, files, documents, people shouting across hallways and offices like a busy stock exchange, an absolute sight of busyness. "This is the order department Bob, look around" Gloria invited.

As Bob looked around, he could see fax machines pumping out orders left right and centre, piles of documents several feet high on many desks, documents being passed from one person to another. He was amazed by just how busy it was.

Gloria then took him by the hand to another room and in that room sat one person, with one fax machine next to her desk. As he stood there, the beautiful assistant received a fax which she read diligently and with a smile on her face, took a rubber stamp that said "Implemented" on it, and crashed it down on the paper with a look of sheer delight on her face. Gloria took bob out into the hallway and looked at him.

"Did you notice the difference between the two order departments Bob?"

"Yes" replied Bob "Clearly that small office is for someone special, a senior soul or something and the other office deals with lots and lots of less important Souls."

"No my dear Bob" replies Gloria "the small office is the order department for a woman on Earth who is clear about what she wants, hardly ever gives into doubt, doesn't feel that she has to compete with others, and is clear about her intentions.

The other office, on the other hand, is your order department."

"Yeah, me and half of Earth's population" Bob retorted.

"No Bob" Gloria replied gently "it is YOUR order department. All of those people and faxes work for you".

"They do?" asked Bob.

"Yes Bob, each one of them works for you every moment of the day" says Gloria "let me explain."